Let me preface this rant with this disclaimer: Last night I help to hostess a party for a dear friend who is getting married this month. She is a lovely lady and not responsible in any way for the nonsense that occurred. Also, my male readers will not be able to relate to this post....AT ALL! ( Although, I did relay the story to Mr. Mayhem and he thought it was silly...or maybe he just thought I was silly....but it was almost 2 AM in the morning and he may have just been humoring me so I would shut up!)
I hosted this shower/bachelorette party with 4 other women. Two of the women are coworkers of mine and two of the women I had never laid eyes on in my life. NOTE: Do NOT plan a shower with people you do NOT know!
The premise for this shower was simple enough...lingerie, with a supper......b party to follow. The lady whose home at which we had the party, was in charge of the whole shebang. ( This is what happens when I try to let go of my control freak ways..........SEE! I told you!) We communicated via email and she led my two coworkers and I to believe it was going to be very informal (which IT WAS) and that she only needed us to take care of the games and hostess gift for the b party.
Every shower I have ever given before (OH, and there have been plenty) we have always just kept our receipts and "settled up" at the end of the function. However, since I have always planned with close friends I had an idea of what the final damage was going to be. NOT the case with this shindig!
I had a sense there might be a problem when I first arrived at her home. There was NOTHING out......don't get me wrong.........her house was GORGEOUS....and I am not a fan of too many cheesy decorations...but there was NOTHING...girlfriend did not even buy plates...cups...NOTHING! In my neurotic mind I start to think that she has done almost nothing for this shower and, "Will it be nice enough.......will the bride think we are cheap.....blah, blah, blah." Keep that last statement in mind (not the blah one...the one before that)..because it will actually turn out to be quite ironic!
My anxiety began to rise when she started making statements like, " I just never know how much to spend on these kind of things....I tend to go overboard.....just look at these flowers...does this look like $50 worth of flowers to you? I am not exaggerating when I tell you this "arrangement" looked like something I could have gotten at Wal-Mart for $10!
One of the other hostesses had stopped to pick up the pasta dish from DeAngelo's. (Italian restaurant chain) When she called me on my cell afterwards, I could tell she was annoyed. One tray of pasta....big enough to feed 20 people....and free bread........anyone want to wager a guess as to how much it cost? $150............one hundred and fifty FREAKING dollars! OMG! Don't get me wrong, I am all about convenience....and I don't mind paying a little more for it.....but $150 for chicken, alfredo sauce, and penne pasta! You have to be kidding me!
When she started totalling up the shower......the number was ASTRONOMICAL! I was in utter shock. We had: chicken pasta, salad, bread (WHICH WAS FREE), a cake.....which looked like it also came from Wal-Mart...but she said cost $60, and a cream cheese appetizer. THAT WAS IT..........one of the other hostesses made a daiquiri type drink....but otherwise....NOTHING!
This was the most expensive shower I have ever given and it had the least amount of things there! How is that possible?! Needless to say, I was not happy.....but I certainly wasn't going to make a scene.......I mean, what could I say? " NO! I don't believe you spent that much...you big liar....and I am NOT going to pay!"
I think the thing that bothers me the most is the bride will never have any idea just how much we spent on her......I know that is not the point...but it seemed as though this shower was very inexpensive....almost cheap, when that could not have been farther from the truth!
It did seem like the bride was having a good time.....and after all, isn't that what it is all about? However, I did learn a valuable, and expensive lesson........no more party planning with strangers...it costs way too much!
Below are a couple of pics from last night.
We forced the bride to wear this silly veil ALL NIGHT!
Some of the ladies and I pose before the festivities get started My new dress was fun, fun, fun!
44 Knelt before the Queen:
FIRST of all, beautiful pics. You look gorgous, girl! And I'm LOVIN that dress.
And I'm with you. I don't like to throw parties with others that I don't know. My step sis is the same way. She spends astrononomical amounts when Costco has a fabulous tray of chicken fetteccine (sp?) Alfredo for 29.99. She threw a baby shower for me and I know what you mean it almost looks like slim pickins, but she spent a fortune. My mom was there when flowers got delivered and they cost almost $400 for 4 bouquets. yikes!! And for a baby shower???
I'm with you, do it yourself. It helps with our control issues and you won't be completely broke afterward.
But, in all seriousness I want that dress. GIMME!!!!
First off.. very cute dress! You are a lovely lady and it looks damn good on you. :)
You're nicer than me, lol. I would have complained to the chick about that. You can do really attractive decorations, excellent food, and a great party for way less than the amounts you were throwing out there.
It was nice of you to just go with the flow.. and I don't think it's silly or wrong for you to be upset about it. I would have been too.
I am glad to see that you two lovely ladies understood what I was trying to say. I was concerned people would take this post the wrong way...although I am not sure what that way is! :)
The dress is from Dress Barn....so comfortable to wear! :)
I know just what you mean. My husband's architectural firm buys birthday "cakes" for it's employees. But they are like the flourless chocolate Dean & Deluca cake. A teeny tiny cake for $125. I said they should buy some donuts and give the underpaid employees a crisp $100 bill!
Based on the bride's smile she seems very happy to be with you all. And you look...gorgeous!
Lotta- well, maybe it was a fancy cake like that...I am just not in to all of that kind of stuff!
I think you are right....her fun was the most important part of the night!
Thanks for the compliment!
I love your dress!
I've never been in that kind of situation, but it sounds dreadful. It is one thing to spend some dosh and get great stuff, but totally another when you have to fork over for run of the mill.
I did splurge on a cake for my sister's baby shower last year that was in the range you mentioned, but it was too die for. I have had their cakes on other occasions and wanted to do something a little over the top and indulgent for her.
$150 for the pasta dish sounds totally insane though.
You look bbbbbeeeeuuuuutiful!
Okay.. now I need to go read the post... I came to see the pics...
sssssst..... a hottie girl!
Oh.. and I yuv Dress Barn!
oh my heck, girl...
i wish you would post a picture of your face after hearing the grand total!! i'd get the hubby to snap a pic... and add to the pics.. hee hee....
holy cow....
that's crazy...
oh boy.... i'm just shakin my head ... glad it wasn't me...
i'd be buggin, too!!!
What pretty ladies! Looks like a fun bunch!
I don't like planning parties with people I don't feel comfortable voicing my opinions around... I can be kind of a control freak, and I don't like it, so I usually just step aside.
Love, love, love your dress, by the way!
Karrie- I am hoping that's what happened here....I did not sample the cake, so I can't say! Yeah, the pasta was a TAD pricy! :)
Terri- I don't think my face was too pretty when I heard the grand total...shocking! I LOVE Dress Barn too!
Doggy Mama- Welcome! If you are a control freak...you are in GREAT company here! :)
First of all, the dress rocks!
Second of all, I'm glad you vented. When something like this happens you need to get the frustration out somehow. And now the rest of us will be very leery of co-planning parties with people we don't know. So basically your post is a public service :)
Great pics. I LOVE your dress.
I hate making showers. 'nuff said.
I really hate showers, hate 'em. But, on the plus side, you look amazing
You look great!
With that out of the way....yeah I can see why that would suck. Doesnt look like anything was done, YET the bill was high....
Lesson learned...next time YOU plan the party.
You look great! LOVE the dress.
I know people who will do that too. Get food, flowers, etc... for some outrageous price when you could make it yourself or pick it up for a lot less elsewhere. It's all about the name. Frustrating, yes.
And wow, for $60 I could pick up a BOATLOAD of flowers. And for my baby shower, a friend who had her own business made a cake shaped like a pacifier for $30. It was adorable and very special. And yummy.
Holy Cow, Queen!
I'm glad you looked so gorgeous in that beautiful dress. :D
I have just been passed the baton. Now that we have the house in town, I have been given the blessed position of hosting family, showers, and parties. All I can say, since I share your OCD/control tendencies, is a BIG THANK YOU for a warning.
We've always divided up duties and if it came out a little uneven settle up with receipts. I think I'll watch out from now on.
Well done with your end of the party planning it looks like you had fun...but i'm with you - what is it with other people whosimplay can't plan a party with a budget?? Is it too much to ask that you not be broke at the end of the day? I laughed through this post as I went through a similar experience so my heart is with you girlfriend!
Thank you for learning that lesson for me!!! Holy Balls girl!
I can't believe that woman did that! Isn't it common courtesy to ask people before hand what your budget is and plan accordingly?!?!?
(btw- LOVE THAT DRESS!!!!!!! Where did you purchase it?) (Oh wait, read the freaking comments. Dress Barn, got it.)
You look fabulous! My control freak tendencies would have had me vibrating. I've learned to try and set some expectations up front like lets all chip in $50, you do this, I'll do that. If you need more check back in. Planning with strangers would really freak me out!
Oooo, thanks for the warning. It helps when all your friends are "nice cheap." No planning with strangers!
The most important thing is that...
YOU LOOKED HOT.
(Okay, so maybe it's not as important as your friend and this rite of passage and all, but YOWZA!)
Everyone pictured is super cute, but YOU look FABULOUS! That dress is awesome! :)
as for the shower....that chick scammed y'all on the cake and flowers for sure. and she sure as hell could have ordered food from some where else....or *GASP* made something herself!!!
lesson learned....
I'm sorry that it was so expensive and it seems like you got totally screwed.
But, I do have to say that your boobs look awesome in that dress. I'm frickin' serious.
Looks like fun and you look lovely!
Those are lovely pics, MQ, but OMG!!! That much money for a shower you could barely tell wads of cash was actually spent on? I guess as long as the bride-to-be seemed happy, no harm was done but yeah, only co-host with gals you know next time. Or better yet, divvy up whose in charge of getting what. That way you pay what YOU want to for whatever item(s) you agree to supply. :)
At least the bride got to wear that attractive headpiece! Sorry about the party, though. I'd have been frustrated too.
At least the bride got to wear that attractive headpiece! Sorry about the party, though. I'd have been frustrated too.
Steph!- I always feel better after a good vent!
prettymommy- I'm with you! It is a necessary evil...but I don't have to like it!
Flutter- thanks! That dress creates a nice illusion!
Carm- are you agreeing with me? Yep! The world is coming to an end! :)
lawyermama- that's what I thought too! But, I did speak with the bride today and she seemed to really have a good time!
stephanette- I also plan to keep a closer watch on things now....definitely a lesson...an expensive one...but a lesson!
princess- welcome! Thanks....I imagine there are a lot of us out there that have gone through this!
BG- I thought it was a bit crazy!
Nikki- I do that all the time....of course, I don't see it until after I hit post! :)
Heather- I completely agree....I have given showers that cost much less, that were much nicer!
Chaos- "Nice-cheap"....I knew I liked you! :)
OTJ- Thanks! I'm telling you....this is a MIRACLE dress...looks like it is really form fitting..when it is more flowy!
Pissy- Oh...it was definitely learned.....I just hope I never have to use that education again! :)
Kevin- I just spit water ALL over the screen.....you are too funny! I actually did not post a picture of me bending over with some girls...because it was a bit ridiculous!!! :) Mr. Mayhem tried to convince me to wear something else..since he would not be there...but he is NOT the boss of me! :)
Slacker- Thanks...it was fun!
Circe- welcome! That is a good idea...I will definitely do that next time!
PM- Oh...it was SO beautiful...it even had paper flowers stuck to it....I wanted to put inapropriate things on it...but she wouldn't let me! :)
I've been caught out many a time like that. In the end you [I] just have to think of it as my own party and then my head [and purse] don't hurt so much.
Cheers
p.s. if I wanted to link to this particular page [rather than the whole blog - coz it will be different tomorrow] how would I do that please?
Technically challenged person
beautiful pics...have a wonderful day!!
First off cute dress! And yes I totally understand your frustration-you are not alone. Oh and I've tagged you, so if you go to my site and see the post it explains everything. :)
Love the dress -- too, too fantastic!
As for the shower, OMG, you just reminded me of *why* such events bring out my various phobias.
(So many, in fact, that Hubs and I eloped.)
:)
This is why I stear clear of these types of events.. I had quite the lesson myself. Of course it was the in-laws.. Surprised?
Dorky Dad's wife here...
As someone who obsesses for weeks when we're just having a couple over for dinner, I do think such an incident would have caused me to explode.
Oh my gosh!!!! That would have totally ticked me off! It's bad enough that the expense was outrageous, but it sounds like nobody got their money's worth. That's not fair for people to plan without a budget and then expect you to chip in for their bad choices. That's too bad. I would have been FUMING!
Sounds like a headache! But you look great in that dress and it does look fun fun fun!
Girl...seperated at birth, I tell ya! So many times I've found myself involved in a shower/party/other significant event/ hosting nightmare. I would rather do it all...and do. it. my. way! It's just as bad when you get saddled up with somebody totally cheap with baaaaaaad taste! At least you looked hot---woohoo!
You seriously rocked that dress. I don't think you have to worry about being hot by the wedding . . . you're already there!
Carrie
Wow! That is crazy. Something sounds off about her totalling. Hmmmm...
BTW, you look fabulous.
Weddings blow. So do babies. So do all their "showers."
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