After three of the LONGEST weeks of my life, the memorial service for my FIL is finally through. My MIL has been packed up, moved down, and unpacked in her new home.......her financial affairs are now in order.....and she is resting comfortably in her new digs.
The service went quite well. My husband and his family were pleasantly surprised at the number of people who showed up to pay their last respects, and our preacher is just an amazing man who was able to so eloquently sum up his life...and tie it, seamlessly, into the Word. Speaking of eloquent, my sweet husband stood up to give the eulogy for his dad....and I have to tell you...it was so touching! He shared memories of travelling with him in his youth and the values his father instilled at an early age. He also shared a tailgating story from his college days. MM brought his dad to the tailgate...and....needless to say...a good time was had by all. So much so that turned around to see his dad wearing a Budweiser tablecloth like a cape and being "flown" around the grounds. That was the day, "The Budman" was born. MM referred to him as nothing else for the duration of the his life. While I found the entire speech to be heartwarming, I was most moved by his emotional thank you to me for helping him through this time and planning the service. It was nice to see how much he appreciated it.....especially since I have been running myself crazy for these last few weeks. There is just something amazing about seeing someone you love publicly declare their appreciation and love for you! (Does anyone else hear "You're so Vain" playing in the background?)
Another beautiful thing was seeing how blessed we were with loving and considerate friends. I had one friend who stayed at my house during the service to set out food for the gathering after, while many more tended to the food during the party, and yet another who kept Junior Mayhem AND an out of town guest's children during the service so we could have one less thing to worry about! I was moved beyond words at the thoughtful and generous gestures of so many of our friends.
Of course.....I manage to shame myself in front of the preacher, albeit only slightly, as I "paraphrased" (his kind words.....otherwise known as SCREWED UP) a bible verse that I wanted to use at the end of my power point . It went something like, "Good job my faithful servant, now enter into the rest of your Lord". I knew something was up when I couldn't find the verse on the Internet.....AND who has time to skim the Bible? I am sensing that I might should feel embarrassed by my ignorance of verses.....but there are just too many other things about which I can worry!
Oh....and my LOVELY ( by lovely I mean selfish B) SIL was 5 minutes late to her OWN FATHER'S funeral!
Overall, it was a fitting sendoff for a lovely man who has moved on to a MUCH better place.
Maybe now I can get my life back..........HEY! It could happen! :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Queen Goes Political
I'm sure you will all find this difficult to believe, but Punditmom actually asked me to contribute to her "Mothers of Intention" series on her site.
Check out my post, "Color Me Underwhelmed"
Don't worry, I'll be back to the nonsense soon!
Check out my post, "Color Me Underwhelmed"
Don't worry, I'll be back to the nonsense soon!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
This is Why I Drink
There have been numerous studies done on children and how their sex impacts various aspects of their life. Most have found that the male species is the less verbal of the two. Of course.....my four year old was NOWHERE around when these studies were done.......seeing as the sheer number of minutes he spends talking a day is OFF the charts! Understand that I am not exaggerating when I say the boy never shuts up........and by never..........I mean NE... VER!! I fully realize that I will be missing these days when he is a morose teenager who refuses to utter even the fewest of words to me.......but right now....Mommy needs a little quiet time!
This weekend we made the trek to the large town we live near to purchase new patio furniture....with traffic, this trip can be as long as 45 minutes...one way. Junior Mayhem talked the ENTIRE way there and back TWICE! (oh yes....we went twice...that's a story for another post) my emotions spanned from, "My baby is the smartest, cutest, funniest child in the world" to "If he does not shut the ____________ up I am going to drive into oncoming traffic!" Working his way up to becoming a typical man...he also does not respond to subtle hints of disinterest ( ie...turning the radio up, being ignored......BEING TOLD TO JUST WATCH THE PASSING CARS....you get the idea)
After a small discussion with him this evening I thought I might share a glimpse into the life of the mind of a "wide-open" preschooler:
JM: (Coming into the living room carrying his rubber boots, filled to the brim with goodness knows what from his room) "Momma these are my boots.....I love these boots!"
Q: "I love those boots too!" ( Note the enthusiasm.....I am a mother with the patience of Jobe....engaging my child....giving him the attention he deserves!)
JM: "There is lots of stuff in my boots....my boots can hold LOTS of stuff!" (he is the MASTER of the obvious)
Q:"I see all that stuff.....I can't believe you fit it all in there.....good job!" (Really....is somebody taping this because my son and I are bonding on a level that would make even the most discerning critic impressed!)
JM: " It's like a box....I'm carrying all these big heavy boxes"
Q: "You're very strong...like a superhero!" (Oh yeah....that's me...shining up the trophy for Mother of the Year)
JM: "I'm strongin' up and now I'm making you small....and Daddy's small........and TP's small...and the cat is small....and you are small...and everyone is small"
Q: "Uh-huh" (okay....let's wrap this up.....American Idol is coming on.....really strongin' up? What does that mean?)
JM: "You are all very small....and that box has garbage.....garbage is yucky...did you know garbage is yucky?"
Q:"Yucky....got it" (Really.......that rocker chick on AI.....so OVER her......WHY does it always go back to garbage with this child? )
JM: "You are very small and don't you DARE touch that yucky garbage.....MOMMA?!"
Q:"Yes....baby I heard you......I got it!" ( Calgon? Is there any reason why my son insists on shooting, shrinking, or maiming me...all the while yelling AND playing with garbage?! Maybe he needs therapy.....I am going to need therapy if he doesn't go play!)
JM: "I should go throw that yucky garbage away.........but I can't throw away my boots....I love my boots and I would be very sad if they were gone!"
Q: (Maybe if I am really quiet and don't make eye contact......he will go away......maybe if I save my pennies...I can run away!)
JM: "Momma! Did you hear me? I am not going to throw away my boots! That is silly.....we don't throw away boots!"
Q: "MMM-HMM" ( For the love of PETE....this child has a room full of engaging, educational, and exciting toys.....WHY must he be in my face spouting this nonsense! I should be relishing this moment....but I am not....maybe something is wrong with me.....NOPE...he's just annoying!)
JM: "I am not......"
Q:"Baby....why don't you go show Daddy the garbage in your boots? Daddies LOVE garbage!" (Yeah.....Daddy! You like that? Now it's YOUR problem! That's for suckering me into having another child......."Our first one is so sweet.....she needs a sibling.....blah, blah, blah...." Now you must suffer for your sins!!!!! )
The "preschool passoff".........Mr. Mayhem and I are certified professionals on the move. It is a complicated dance that requires both precision and fortitude.
Now it is crystal clear the exact need for appletinis in my life.......it's for the greater good.....it's for the safety of my family......it is for the maintaining of my sanity!
This weekend we made the trek to the large town we live near to purchase new patio furniture....with traffic, this trip can be as long as 45 minutes...one way. Junior Mayhem talked the ENTIRE way there and back TWICE! (oh yes....we went twice...that's a story for another post) my emotions spanned from, "My baby is the smartest, cutest, funniest child in the world" to "If he does not shut the ____________ up I am going to drive into oncoming traffic!" Working his way up to becoming a typical man...he also does not respond to subtle hints of disinterest ( ie...turning the radio up, being ignored......BEING TOLD TO JUST WATCH THE PASSING CARS....you get the idea)
After a small discussion with him this evening I thought I might share a glimpse into the life of the mind of a "wide-open" preschooler:
JM: (Coming into the living room carrying his rubber boots, filled to the brim with goodness knows what from his room) "Momma these are my boots.....I love these boots!"
Q: "I love those boots too!" ( Note the enthusiasm.....I am a mother with the patience of Jobe....engaging my child....giving him the attention he deserves!)
JM: "There is lots of stuff in my boots....my boots can hold LOTS of stuff!" (he is the MASTER of the obvious)
Q:"I see all that stuff.....I can't believe you fit it all in there.....good job!" (Really....is somebody taping this because my son and I are bonding on a level that would make even the most discerning critic impressed!)
JM: " It's like a box....I'm carrying all these big heavy boxes"
Q: "You're very strong...like a superhero!" (Oh yeah....that's me...shining up the trophy for Mother of the Year)
JM: "I'm strongin' up and now I'm making you small....and Daddy's small........and TP's small...and the cat is small....and you are small...and everyone is small"
Q: "Uh-huh" (okay....let's wrap this up.....American Idol is coming on.....really strongin' up? What does that mean?)
JM: "You are all very small....and that box has garbage.....garbage is yucky...did you know garbage is yucky?"
Q:"Yucky....got it" (Really.......that rocker chick on AI.....so OVER her......WHY does it always go back to garbage with this child? )
JM: "You are very small and don't you DARE touch that yucky garbage.....MOMMA?!"
Q:"Yes....baby I heard you......I got it!" ( Calgon? Is there any reason why my son insists on shooting, shrinking, or maiming me...all the while yelling AND playing with garbage?! Maybe he needs therapy.....I am going to need therapy if he doesn't go play!)
JM: "I should go throw that yucky garbage away.........but I can't throw away my boots....I love my boots and I would be very sad if they were gone!"
Q: (Maybe if I am really quiet and don't make eye contact......he will go away......maybe if I save my pennies...I can run away!)
JM: "Momma! Did you hear me? I am not going to throw away my boots! That is silly.....we don't throw away boots!"
Q: "MMM-HMM" ( For the love of PETE....this child has a room full of engaging, educational, and exciting toys.....WHY must he be in my face spouting this nonsense! I should be relishing this moment....but I am not....maybe something is wrong with me.....NOPE...he's just annoying!)
JM: "I am not......"
Q:"Baby....why don't you go show Daddy the garbage in your boots? Daddies LOVE garbage!" (Yeah.....Daddy! You like that? Now it's YOUR problem! That's for suckering me into having another child......."Our first one is so sweet.....she needs a sibling.....blah, blah, blah...." Now you must suffer for your sins!!!!! )
The "preschool passoff".........Mr. Mayhem and I are certified professionals on the move. It is a complicated dance that requires both precision and fortitude.
Now it is crystal clear the exact need for appletinis in my life.......it's for the greater good.....it's for the safety of my family......it is for the maintaining of my sanity!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Status Quo
THINGS ARE STILL CRAZY AROUND HERE.........PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME.....I WILL BE BACK TO VISIT YOUR SITES VERY SOON! YOU KNOW I NEED AFFIRMATION! :)
I think it is very clear........if you are a regular reader.......that 2008 has been less than kind to the Queen. Actually, to say that is......quite possibly........the understatement of the CENTURY! And.....here's the deal......it doesn't seem to be getting much better! Shall we recap the past week at the Mayhem? I thought you'd never ask!
1. Father-in-law passes away.
2. We don't tell The Princess until Friday, due to VERY important standardized testing.....and her extreme sensitivity and tenderhearted nature. This leads to me feeling paranoid (that someone else would drop the bombshell) AND guilty for the ENTIRE week!
3. I get a root canal on Wednesday. It hurt in 2 places.........my mouth AND my bank account!
4. I get the f*%$#*& stomach flu AGAIN! (Either that....or a terrible reaction to pain meds....the day after my root canal....either way.....NOT FUN!)
5. We break the news to The Princess.....only to break her heart.....and see her break down throughout the weekend. (Nothing hurts like seeing your child hurt)
6. OH....and just in case I am not stressed enough.....my bitch sister-in-law (whom I simply could not believe did not disappear into a flash of fire when she stepped foot into the church) felt compelled to correct my preacher's (the one who is performing my FIL's memorial service on a day when he is not scheduled to work) pronunciation of the hometown where Mr. Mayhem's father was born and raised. MIND YOU....this town's name is the same one I gave my son...to honor my FIL.....and the same one that this same hussy tried numerous times to correct my pronunciation until I told her to SUCK IT(Okay.....I didn't actually SAY suck it...but I was thinking it!)....that I would call my son what I chose to call him! Goodness gracious I don't really care for this woman! UGH!
I sincerely hope the latter half of this year is more kind to the Mayhem.......because the craptastic status quo is getting old.........REALLY, REALLY old!
I think it is very clear........if you are a regular reader.......that 2008 has been less than kind to the Queen. Actually, to say that is......quite possibly........the understatement of the CENTURY! And.....here's the deal......it doesn't seem to be getting much better! Shall we recap the past week at the Mayhem? I thought you'd never ask!
1. Father-in-law passes away.
2. We don't tell The Princess until Friday, due to VERY important standardized testing.....and her extreme sensitivity and tenderhearted nature. This leads to me feeling paranoid (that someone else would drop the bombshell) AND guilty for the ENTIRE week!
3. I get a root canal on Wednesday. It hurt in 2 places.........my mouth AND my bank account!
4. I get the f*%$#*& stomach flu AGAIN! (Either that....or a terrible reaction to pain meds....the day after my root canal....either way.....NOT FUN!)
5. We break the news to The Princess.....only to break her heart.....and see her break down throughout the weekend. (Nothing hurts like seeing your child hurt)
6. OH....and just in case I am not stressed enough.....my bitch sister-in-law (whom I simply could not believe did not disappear into a flash of fire when she stepped foot into the church) felt compelled to correct my preacher's (the one who is performing my FIL's memorial service on a day when he is not scheduled to work) pronunciation of the hometown where Mr. Mayhem's father was born and raised. MIND YOU....this town's name is the same one I gave my son...to honor my FIL.....and the same one that this same hussy tried numerous times to correct my pronunciation until I told her to SUCK IT(Okay.....I didn't actually SAY suck it...but I was thinking it!)....that I would call my son what I chose to call him! Goodness gracious I don't really care for this woman! UGH!
I sincerely hope the latter half of this year is more kind to the Mayhem.......because the craptastic status quo is getting old.........REALLY, REALLY old!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The End of an Era
It is a sad time, here at the Mayhem. My husband's sweet father lost his 6 year battle with cancer this afternoon. We were summoned to where he lived when he took a turn for the worst after a surgery a week before. ( The same one that put a damper on our getaway weekend.)
I remember, like it was yesterday, the day Mr. Mayhem told me his father had cancer. He called me while I was shopping for clothes for The Princess. In fact....I was in a dressing room with her. I remember sitting on the floor of that room, staring into space, as the words "My father has cancer," rang in my ears.
Since then, MM's dad has gone through numerous surgeries and rounds of both chemo and radiation to battle the deadly disease. He took it all in stride and never complained. We knew something was terribly wrong when he admitted to MM that he was really hurting the night before his surgery. Sure enough, when the surgeon opened him up he found a large cancerous mass that was blocking his bowels, as well as cancer spread about his entire abdomen. Many complications arose and he was simply exhausted after a long and painful battle with the sickness.
My preacher once said (and I have since attempted to adopt it as my mantra) "Ask for the strength to accept God's will.....not the power to change it." That is what MM and I are trying to do at this moment. The selfish side of us is terribly distraught at the thought of not seeing him again......but a part of us is relieved that he is no longer suffering and has moved on to a better place. In fact.....I truly believe I witnessed him "meeting" his angel this morning.
Our weekend was a heart-wrenching roller coaster ride that went from shock and dismay, then to slight hope, and finally to the beginnings of acceptance. For the majority of the weekend he had been terribly agitated and prone to certain hallucinations that seemed to upset him. This morning he was exceptionally so....save for the one time he flashed a HUGE, signature smile of his.....extended his hand, shook it up and down, and announced, "MM sr.....very nice to meet you!" I believe, with all my being, that he was greeting the angel that had come to take him home. The look of peace that flashed across his face was one that had been missing for many of these difficult years.
My heart absolutely broke each time I saw my sweet husband stare painfully at the shell of what was left of his father, and lovingly stroke his head while trying to calm his agitated movements. I am sad for him....I am sad for his mother......I am sad for my kids (they ADORED their Poppa).......I am sad that we are now entering the age where these types of experiences will become more of the rule and less of the exception.
If I have learned anything from this....it's not to waste precious time. Tell your family that you love them.......make the most of each and every moment you are blessed with......because you never know when the Good Lord will call you, or someone you love, home.
I remember, like it was yesterday, the day Mr. Mayhem told me his father had cancer. He called me while I was shopping for clothes for The Princess. In fact....I was in a dressing room with her. I remember sitting on the floor of that room, staring into space, as the words "My father has cancer," rang in my ears.
Since then, MM's dad has gone through numerous surgeries and rounds of both chemo and radiation to battle the deadly disease. He took it all in stride and never complained. We knew something was terribly wrong when he admitted to MM that he was really hurting the night before his surgery. Sure enough, when the surgeon opened him up he found a large cancerous mass that was blocking his bowels, as well as cancer spread about his entire abdomen. Many complications arose and he was simply exhausted after a long and painful battle with the sickness.
My preacher once said (and I have since attempted to adopt it as my mantra) "Ask for the strength to accept God's will.....not the power to change it." That is what MM and I are trying to do at this moment. The selfish side of us is terribly distraught at the thought of not seeing him again......but a part of us is relieved that he is no longer suffering and has moved on to a better place. In fact.....I truly believe I witnessed him "meeting" his angel this morning.
Our weekend was a heart-wrenching roller coaster ride that went from shock and dismay, then to slight hope, and finally to the beginnings of acceptance. For the majority of the weekend he had been terribly agitated and prone to certain hallucinations that seemed to upset him. This morning he was exceptionally so....save for the one time he flashed a HUGE, signature smile of his.....extended his hand, shook it up and down, and announced, "MM sr.....very nice to meet you!" I believe, with all my being, that he was greeting the angel that had come to take him home. The look of peace that flashed across his face was one that had been missing for many of these difficult years.
My heart absolutely broke each time I saw my sweet husband stare painfully at the shell of what was left of his father, and lovingly stroke his head while trying to calm his agitated movements. I am sad for him....I am sad for his mother......I am sad for my kids (they ADORED their Poppa).......I am sad that we are now entering the age where these types of experiences will become more of the rule and less of the exception.
If I have learned anything from this....it's not to waste precious time. Tell your family that you love them.......make the most of each and every moment you are blessed with......because you never know when the Good Lord will call you, or someone you love, home.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Heard Around the Mayhem
First of all.....let me thank all you wonderful people for your kind comments and emails. I am doing much better now....AND Mr. Mayhem and I are, in fact, still married.....though it was iffy for a while! I suppose I can't exactly end my marriage over a less than ideal getaway...but I am PRETTY CERTAIN we are clear on the couple vacation thing! (We'll see if that lasts)
I thought I would break ranks with all the whining of late and share some of the nonsense recently overheard here at the Mayhem.
1. The Princess was regaling me with a part of a book she was reading. She loves to read and loves sharing EACH and EVERY detail with me (yeah....cute at first.....but soon drives me to contemplate jumping out the window....but I digress) She was reading Clementine. In the book this precocious girl talks about what she wants to do when she grows up. Apparently she doesn't want to get married, but she does want to smoke cigars. In fact TP read a quote that went something like, "Marriage....no....cigars....yes!" Appalled, TP threw down the book and exclaimed, "Well it's a good thing she DOESN'T want to get married because NO man will want her if she smokes cigars!" SMART GIRL!
2. My kids are at an age where they fuss CONSTANTLY. I have to stay on Junior Mayhem about hitting his sister and on The Princess for constantly egging him on until he snaps, hits her, and gets in trouble. ( Are you sensing an evil plot here?) I can often be heard telling her, "Quit antagonizing your brother!" JM must have been listening because the other day at dinner he told her, "TP stop tagonizing me!"
3. In a public restroom ( plenty loud enough for EVERYONE to hear) JM decides to poll me about my activities at the moment. "Mama are you poo-pooing? (I wasn't.....just in case you were wondering) Make sure you wipe your booty if you're poo-pooing, because if you don't you will get skid marks in your underwear and that is bisgusting!" ( Did I mention I could hear loud giggling from all the surrounding stalls?)
4. Upon interrogation about the SECOND writeup for JM in less than a week at school, he explained, "I just got a little mean at school today (mean being kicking the wall....OH...and at his teacher) BUT I said I was sorry!" Picture little fat arms thrown up in a "how can you possibly be upset at me because I said I was sorry" pose. Lucky me.....only three more until he gets suspended for 2 days! Where's that orange jumpsuit when I need it?
5. Oh....and let's not forget when I was sure that JM told me that "Batman just killed God!" Luckily, as I was putting the preacher on speed dial and ordering a gallon of holy water off the Internet, I realized he was saying, "Batman just killed this guy!" Still a felony in all 50 states....but not quite the blasphemy of the earlier statement!
Never a dull moment around here! Heard anything interesting lately!
I thought I would break ranks with all the whining of late and share some of the nonsense recently overheard here at the Mayhem.
1. The Princess was regaling me with a part of a book she was reading. She loves to read and loves sharing EACH and EVERY detail with me (yeah....cute at first.....but soon drives me to contemplate jumping out the window....but I digress) She was reading Clementine. In the book this precocious girl talks about what she wants to do when she grows up. Apparently she doesn't want to get married, but she does want to smoke cigars. In fact TP read a quote that went something like, "Marriage....no....cigars....yes!" Appalled, TP threw down the book and exclaimed, "Well it's a good thing she DOESN'T want to get married because NO man will want her if she smokes cigars!" SMART GIRL!
2. My kids are at an age where they fuss CONSTANTLY. I have to stay on Junior Mayhem about hitting his sister and on The Princess for constantly egging him on until he snaps, hits her, and gets in trouble. ( Are you sensing an evil plot here?) I can often be heard telling her, "Quit antagonizing your brother!" JM must have been listening because the other day at dinner he told her, "TP stop tagonizing me!"
3. In a public restroom ( plenty loud enough for EVERYONE to hear) JM decides to poll me about my activities at the moment. "Mama are you poo-pooing? (I wasn't.....just in case you were wondering) Make sure you wipe your booty if you're poo-pooing, because if you don't you will get skid marks in your underwear and that is bisgusting!" ( Did I mention I could hear loud giggling from all the surrounding stalls?)
4. Upon interrogation about the SECOND writeup for JM in less than a week at school, he explained, "I just got a little mean at school today (mean being kicking the wall....OH...and at his teacher) BUT I said I was sorry!" Picture little fat arms thrown up in a "how can you possibly be upset at me because I said I was sorry" pose. Lucky me.....only three more until he gets suspended for 2 days! Where's that orange jumpsuit when I need it?
5. Oh....and let's not forget when I was sure that JM told me that "Batman just killed God!" Luckily, as I was putting the preacher on speed dial and ordering a gallon of holy water off the Internet, I realized he was saying, "Batman just killed this guy!" Still a felony in all 50 states....but not quite the blasphemy of the earlier statement!
Never a dull moment around here! Heard anything interesting lately!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
What a WASTE!
********WARNING: WHINE/RANT AHEAD************
If you are as sick and tired of reading my whining posts of late as I am of having the sh*t happen that causes me to whine.....you may want to move on to a better place..............YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I am currently in the market for a remote. Not just any remote, but one that can magically change the time-space continuum so that I can fast forward through the suckfest that has been 2008, thus far. My craptastic luck has been well documented here lately, and I am sure you are as sick of reading it......as I am of going through it! WELL.....sorry for you......as the little black rain cloud just won't seem to go away here at the Mayhem!
Long before I knew I would have to sell a kidney on the black market to pay for my sizable dental bills, Mr. Mayhem and I planned a weekend getaway. The kids were headed to my parents' house and we were going to stay at a casino that came highly recommended from numerous sources. Neither MM or myself are much for gambling, but the idea of getting away was VERY attractive. Except for the fact of MM's annoying friends who planned to meet us on Saturday. Here's a rundown of this couple:
Husband: MM's oldest and dearest friend......you know the kind you party with when you are single, young, and unencumbered with responsibility...........he's a nice guy, but when he and MM get together they act like they did when they were in college! OH...and let's not forget that he calls MM NO LESS than 5 times a day!
Wife: Self centered, arrogant, snooty, weird, did I mentioned self absorbed? You get the picture. She is THE most difficult person I have ever had the displeasure of spending ENTIRELY too much time with. Just the thought of having to deal with her, sends me into a full blown panic attack.....not to mention a mother of ALL bad moods!!!!
SO.....you can only imagine how elated I was to know that I would get the privilege of spending the afternoon with her while the guys went and played golf. ( I have actually posted about this couple before.....but I am too lazy to look up the title and link)
Here's a few lovely things that occurred before we even got "going" on our trip:
1. MM embarrassed me in the ONE AND ONLY STORE in my one horse town by loudly declaring that we were going to "funnel" the beer we were purchasing and had the equipment in our car. ( My regular readers KNOW how many former students, parents, and coworkers I see at this store)
2. We got stuck at a standstill on the interstate for over 20 minutes.
3. The first restaurant we stopped at had 2 servers FOR THE ENTIRE PLACE! (we left)
4. We got stuck in construction traffic in one of the EVEN SMALLER podunk towns we were forced to travel through to get to our destination.
(OH....and we weren't even there yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Of course.......the best part was......we found out MM's dad was going to have surgery on Friday morning to explore the cause of some intestinal blockage he had. He is currently fighting cancer and we were not pleased to hear this latest development. I offered numerous times for us to head to the hospital and skip the trip.....but to no avail. We spent a great deal of time on the phone on Friday trying to get information and handle problems from our vacation. ( OOOOOH......that's fun!) Not to mention that we were both SUPER on edge, half feeling guilty for not going (even though we were told on TUESDAY) and half worried sick about the outcome. (It was not good....but I don't have the heart to talk about that now) It was a weight off our shoulders when we heard he survived the surgery......but the struggles they had getting his pain meds straight took their toll on him and US!
The place was nice enough.....but I was immediately overwhelmed with the fact that it did not seem to be NEARLY as nice as I had expected, considering the amount we were paying to stay there. Well.....if you are not highly neurotic, you will not appreciate what went down after this...........BUT....I couldn't get over it.........COULD NOT GET OVER IT! The room was the best part of the stay. It was very nice. However, the restaurants were overpriced.......and this came with so-so food and lousy service. The casino was small.......and the absolute DREGS of humanity were there. The clientele spanned the gambit from little old ladies pulling oxygen tanks, spending every dime of their retirement on the slots to the scariest, most filthy, adults you could possible imagine.
Friday night was (supposedly) our night alone together. MM's friends were not coming until the next afternoon. That sounds really romantic until you recognize that his friend called and texted him for the ENTIRE night. He might as well have been with us for the amount of time MM spent talking to him. Call me crazy....but I thought this weekend was about us.....silly me! We ate at an overpriced restaurant with pitiful food and worse service and then headed into the casino. As I said before, I am not a huge fan of gambling. I just can't bear the thought of throwing my money away. So....when we sat at the Roulette table, the ONLY table we could find with a five dollar minimum and lost $40 in less than 10 minutes.....I WAS DONE! I know $40 is not that much money.....but less than 10 minutes? NOPE.....not for me!
Saturday started a little better. Believe it or not, we actually won back all the money we had lost playing the $.25 slots. Being the worst nightmare for the casinos that I am........I quit when we broke even. The couple was arriving between 1 and 2. MM and his friend were going to play golf and the wife and I had spa appointments. I got the pleasure of paying over $200 for sub par treatments while MM and his bud drank their way through 18 holes. Are you sensing a pattern here? Am I crazy for not being able to enjoy something so decadent because it did not meet my expectations? (Yeah...that's a rhetorical question) We ate at an even more expensive sub par restaurant that night and when I wanted to go back to the room to take some Aleve for a headache (read....escape before I said something I ought not).....they followed me. YEP...couldn't even BUY myself 10 minutes to regroup before they were hanging out in my room.
All the stress did not bode well for MM and myself. We are currently not speaking. Oh...and when I was speaking to him I told him that if he ever asked me to go away with this couple again.....I would divorce him. AND I mean it!
I know I should be grateful that we are able to get away........but right now.....I'm not. Maybe once the initial pouting is done (spurred on by the nauseous feeling I got when I wrote in all the expenses to my checkbook) I will be better able to appreciate my blessings. We'll see.
So......anybody have a lead on that remote for me?
If you are as sick and tired of reading my whining posts of late as I am of having the sh*t happen that causes me to whine.....you may want to move on to a better place..............YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
I am currently in the market for a remote. Not just any remote, but one that can magically change the time-space continuum so that I can fast forward through the suckfest that has been 2008, thus far. My craptastic luck has been well documented here lately, and I am sure you are as sick of reading it......as I am of going through it! WELL.....sorry for you......as the little black rain cloud just won't seem to go away here at the Mayhem!
Long before I knew I would have to sell a kidney on the black market to pay for my sizable dental bills, Mr. Mayhem and I planned a weekend getaway. The kids were headed to my parents' house and we were going to stay at a casino that came highly recommended from numerous sources. Neither MM or myself are much for gambling, but the idea of getting away was VERY attractive. Except for the fact of MM's annoying friends who planned to meet us on Saturday. Here's a rundown of this couple:
Husband: MM's oldest and dearest friend......you know the kind you party with when you are single, young, and unencumbered with responsibility...........he's a nice guy, but when he and MM get together they act like they did when they were in college! OH...and let's not forget that he calls MM NO LESS than 5 times a day!
Wife: Self centered, arrogant, snooty, weird, did I mentioned self absorbed? You get the picture. She is THE most difficult person I have ever had the displeasure of spending ENTIRELY too much time with. Just the thought of having to deal with her, sends me into a full blown panic attack.....not to mention a mother of ALL bad moods!!!!
SO.....you can only imagine how elated I was to know that I would get the privilege of spending the afternoon with her while the guys went and played golf. ( I have actually posted about this couple before.....but I am too lazy to look up the title and link)
Here's a few lovely things that occurred before we even got "going" on our trip:
1. MM embarrassed me in the ONE AND ONLY STORE in my one horse town by loudly declaring that we were going to "funnel" the beer we were purchasing and had the equipment in our car. ( My regular readers KNOW how many former students, parents, and coworkers I see at this store)
2. We got stuck at a standstill on the interstate for over 20 minutes.
3. The first restaurant we stopped at had 2 servers FOR THE ENTIRE PLACE! (we left)
4. We got stuck in construction traffic in one of the EVEN SMALLER podunk towns we were forced to travel through to get to our destination.
(OH....and we weren't even there yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Of course.......the best part was......we found out MM's dad was going to have surgery on Friday morning to explore the cause of some intestinal blockage he had. He is currently fighting cancer and we were not pleased to hear this latest development. I offered numerous times for us to head to the hospital and skip the trip.....but to no avail. We spent a great deal of time on the phone on Friday trying to get information and handle problems from our vacation. ( OOOOOH......that's fun!) Not to mention that we were both SUPER on edge, half feeling guilty for not going (even though we were told on TUESDAY) and half worried sick about the outcome. (It was not good....but I don't have the heart to talk about that now) It was a weight off our shoulders when we heard he survived the surgery......but the struggles they had getting his pain meds straight took their toll on him and US!
The place was nice enough.....but I was immediately overwhelmed with the fact that it did not seem to be NEARLY as nice as I had expected, considering the amount we were paying to stay there. Well.....if you are not highly neurotic, you will not appreciate what went down after this...........BUT....I couldn't get over it.........COULD NOT GET OVER IT! The room was the best part of the stay. It was very nice. However, the restaurants were overpriced.......and this came with so-so food and lousy service. The casino was small.......and the absolute DREGS of humanity were there. The clientele spanned the gambit from little old ladies pulling oxygen tanks, spending every dime of their retirement on the slots to the scariest, most filthy, adults you could possible imagine.
Friday night was (supposedly) our night alone together. MM's friends were not coming until the next afternoon. That sounds really romantic until you recognize that his friend called and texted him for the ENTIRE night. He might as well have been with us for the amount of time MM spent talking to him. Call me crazy....but I thought this weekend was about us.....silly me! We ate at an overpriced restaurant with pitiful food and worse service and then headed into the casino. As I said before, I am not a huge fan of gambling. I just can't bear the thought of throwing my money away. So....when we sat at the Roulette table, the ONLY table we could find with a five dollar minimum and lost $40 in less than 10 minutes.....I WAS DONE! I know $40 is not that much money.....but less than 10 minutes? NOPE.....not for me!
Saturday started a little better. Believe it or not, we actually won back all the money we had lost playing the $.25 slots. Being the worst nightmare for the casinos that I am........I quit when we broke even. The couple was arriving between 1 and 2. MM and his friend were going to play golf and the wife and I had spa appointments. I got the pleasure of paying over $200 for sub par treatments while MM and his bud drank their way through 18 holes. Are you sensing a pattern here? Am I crazy for not being able to enjoy something so decadent because it did not meet my expectations? (Yeah...that's a rhetorical question) We ate at an even more expensive sub par restaurant that night and when I wanted to go back to the room to take some Aleve for a headache (read....escape before I said something I ought not).....they followed me. YEP...couldn't even BUY myself 10 minutes to regroup before they were hanging out in my room.
All the stress did not bode well for MM and myself. We are currently not speaking. Oh...and when I was speaking to him I told him that if he ever asked me to go away with this couple again.....I would divorce him. AND I mean it!
I know I should be grateful that we are able to get away........but right now.....I'm not. Maybe once the initial pouting is done (spurred on by the nauseous feeling I got when I wrote in all the expenses to my checkbook) I will be better able to appreciate my blessings. We'll see.
So......anybody have a lead on that remote for me?
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