12 Years of LOVE

My yearly tributes to Mr. Mayhem have become a tradition around here. It is one of the few times when I actually am able to utter my true feelings for him without falling into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

I think I was missing the day they handed out the sentimental (aka "lovey dovey") gene. I can't stand the mushy stuff....and I mean the giving OR receiving it. I don't know why. It makes me HIGHLY uncomfortable! (Wow! Wouldn't a therapist have a field day with that statement?!)

However, I do try to deliver my once yearly lovefest post with as little squirming as possible!

I've decided not to continue adding to each year's previous post, because....if I'm honest....the first one (10 year post) was my favorite and I just want to leave it alone!

But........if I was sentimental........I might write a letter like this one:

Dear Mr. Mayhem,
It is hard to believe we have been married for 12 years! Sometimes it feels as though we have been together for a lifetime, while other times it is like we are newly married. Having you in my life has been a blessing from God and I am thankful for all we have together. Thank you for loving me, supporting me, allowing me to be who I truly am without fear of judgement, and for giving me two of the most beautiful children in the world! I look forward to a lifetime of happiness as you and I face the world together. I love you!

Queen


Yeah....now we can all go and vomit from the overwhelming sweetness of it all! :)

Losing Faith

One might say that being stuck in a state park with 90 children ages 9 and 10, along with their parents would be difficult enough. That same person might say that, after planning the entire trip, walking the entire mile and a half with a difficult child attached to my hip, AND keeping aforementioned child from having a complete meltdown would be enough punishment for one woman.

But.....that person would be WRONG! On top of my complete and utter exhaustion yesterday, I realized that some lovely slice of humanity had stolen my *&$%#(& (You have NO idea how much I wanted to type the REAL word.....the BAD one!!!!!!!!) wallet. That's right....now I get the luxury of spending my week off getting all the stuff that I am now without due to someone's driving need to take something that WAS NOT THEIRS!

There are no words to express how pissed I am right now. I cancelled my bank and credit cards, but I have to get a new license, insurance cards.....and goodness knows what else I need that was in there.

The only bright point is that there was NO money.......I mean.....NONE in there. I didn't even have $.50 to give my son that morning for candy money!

So...this holiday I will be giving thanks for people who are such complete trash that they feel justified in taking things that don't belong to them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tales from the Ipod

My loving husband got me an Ipod three years ago. In fact, one of my first posts on this blog was one declaring my undying love for said machine! Even though many better and bigger have come along since....I refuse to get rid of my first and only!

The time has come when my 10 year old daughter has expressed an interest in getting an Ipod. While part of me can't believe she is old enough to want one, the other part is considering giving her my old reliable and upgrading. HMMMMMM

But....then....I have SO many memories with this one. Just yesterday, I caught Junior Mayhem singing "You, you, you are.........womanizer, womanizer, womanizer...." Seriously....from where else could my five year old be spouting the sharp wit of one Britney Spears?

I am in LURVE with the new Pink song, "So What". The only bad thing is....it has a curse word in the song. I had only heard it on the radio and I clicked on the "clean" version on Itunes...but, there it was... she says "sh*t as clear as day at one point. I was a little sad when I realized what she was saying and that I could not play it when my kids were in the car.

One might question why a mother of the year candidate, such as myself, would play any songs by such shady characters........to which I can only respond with a question. Does it make it better if I don't allow them to watch videos? I think yes......indeed, it makes it MUCH better!


There you have it.........out for everyone to see......I got NOTHING people!

I'm considering blog rehab........more details to come!

Where does he come up with this stuff?

This morning Junior Mayhem noticed a People magazine on the couch. What with all the Obama worship of late, not surprisingly, his picture was on the cover.

Junior Mayhem turned to his daddy and said, "That's Barack Obama." To which MM replied, "Your right, Buddy, it is." JM then decided to add, "Momma said that is a bad word for kids to say."

What? I will admit I am no fan.....but his name a bad word? Not quite!

How interesting it is see to behold how kids decipher the feelings of their parents. The only thing I can possibly think is that he misinterpreted a conversation between myself and The Princess.

She came home on Wednesday saying that some of the kids were calling him "Buttcrack Obama" (Okay.....even if you like him......that is just FUNNY). I told her that "butt" is not a nice word for kids to say and she needed to show him some respect, as he will soon be our president.

No telling what other nonsense he is telling people that I have said. It figures!

Hee-hee.....you say Barack.....I say Buttcrack.....let's call the whole thing off! :)

Tired

How do you know when you might be multitasking too many things?

How about:
1. you are frantically cleaning the night before out of town guests come (you know....because there has been NO other time to do it the entire week)
2. fussing about how you live in a pigsty
3. sitting on the side of the bathtub in the guest bathroom that WON'T DRAIN
4. observing that the shower liner (you never see) is covered with mildew
5. all the while talking on your cell phone.......WHEN...........you drop said cell phone into the tub of water that will NOT DRAIN
6. Recover submerged cell phone
7. Dry it off....frantically......
8. Utter some profanity
9. Continue conversation with person on other end of the phone
10. WHILE cleaning unimaginable amounts of urine from all vantage points in bathroom

Seriously......something has gotta give! Right?

Oh...and props to Mr. Mayhem who, fearing a complete and total breakdown on my part, ventured out to the store the next day to purchase Drano and a new shower liner.

For Terri and Joe

Because I am a nervous wreck and simply cannot watch until the majority of the polls close I thought I would share some pics that actually include me.....for once. We recently hosted my MIL's 70th birthday.....which just so happened to fall in October. What better reason for a costume party? We were a family of pirates........my MIL was a witch!

The Family Mayhem

Halloween Cuteness!

Halloween was great fun.....here at the Mayhem. We enjoyed the company of many of our neighbors and friends during the course of the evening. Trick or treating was great fun.....however.......it wasn't with out its interesting moments.

The Princess had a friend over....and being the "nearly tween" girls they are, they wanted NOTHING to do with us during the night. They were instructed to stay no farther than 2 houses in front of us at all times. The majority of our kids rode on a trailer.....and when that got too far ahead of us, I ran up to catch JM and left the girls in the care of TP's father. (Yeah.....I KNOW....should have known better!)

Before I know it.....both girls are most worked up and informing me that a man had answered the door in his underwear and given them nuts. (BTW......MM....nowhere to be found!!!!) Oh yes...you read that correctly! Needless to say....this warranted a little investigation. Turns out....the two ALBERT EINSTEINS that they are, knocked on a house whose porch was not even lit, disturbing a man who was LITERALLY fresh off the plane from Japan. Not only did he speak almost NO English......he had NO idea what Halloween even was. ( My friend's husband did kindly ask him to put on some pants....but he was wearing boxers, a shirt, and some socks.) He was trying to be polite and find a treat to share with them. You must know he did NOT get the irony of a man in his boxer shorts giving children nuts! Oh......and one might ask why my oh-so-brainy child did not head for the hills when a man answered the door in his boxers! In fact she said, "He took FOREVER to even give us the nuts!" Yeah....she will be RIGHT BESIDE ME the whole time next year! How was your Halloween?

Mr. Mayhem poses with his favorite superhero

The Princess dressed up like a pirate wench.....brain child that she is...she threw the $40 costume I bought her in the wash....BEFORE SHE EVER WORE IT...and it shrunk...thus the addition of the striped tights! Her friend dressed up like an 80's girl....which hit a little close to home...as I think I owned this outfit...ONCE!

I am SO SICK of posing for you WOMAN!