Helpful Hints from Junior Mayhem

As most parents know, there is no such thing as "TMI" when it comes to kids.

So, I don't know why I was surprised when JM shared this helpful hint with me.

Today, as we were heading home, I decided to share my intense need to use the facilities with my children.

Yeah....I'm cool like that.

My comments ranged from, "Man! I really need to tee-tee!" to " I very well may have an accident before we make it home!" Classy Lady....your name is Queen.

It was then that JM felt the inclination to share his words of wisdom with me.

"When I need to tee-tee, I just grab onto my pee-pee and hold it." (Yeah...we say pee-pee at the Mayhem....as the word penis would cause me to fall over in fits of hysterical laughter each time I uttered it.)

Undoubtedly, he became annoyed when I did not heed his advice and announced again of my desire to go.

"JUST HOLD YOUR PEE-PEE, I SAID!"

To which I calmly informed him that I was not in possession of aforementioned pee-pee.

He thought for a minute and replied, "Well, just hold your booty then!"

There you go.......problem solved!

Overheard Tidbits

I've been kicking around a few posts in my mind recently....but have lacked the desire to actually sit down and write them. (Can we say LAZY?)

But I have overheard a few things that I found amusing, so I thought I would share them with you:

1. Not only am I a teacher, but I am the sponsor of a service club at our school. This club has grown very large this year and it is a lot of work to keep it running smoothly. (Did I mention that we ALWAYS win first place.....in the entire parish? No....oh well, never mind then!) Anyway, my students are used to me having to take care of different things and people coming in and out of my room for various needs. One day one of my students asked if I got paid extra for being in charge of this club. I told her that I didn't, but I thought that was a great idea. This morning in the office she was talking to our assistant principal and busts out with, "I told Mrs. Queen she should get paid extra for being in charge of the club. That stuff runs her CRAZY! If you do all this extra work and you don't get paid for it......well, that's just messed up!"

Yeah....that child is getting an A++++ from me! :)

2. Anyone who has read this blog for long, knows that I am easily amused. I have an extremely INFANTILE sense of humor. I choose to blame it on working with kids for so long. Yeah...that's the reason! The other day I was reminding my students that if they read a certain amount of books (we use the AR program) they would win the privilege of wearing pajamas to school.

One of my smartypants little boys asked, "What if we sleep in a t-shirt and underwear? Can we come in that?"

To which I replied, "EWWWWW....never, ever say underwear to me....EVER again!" Of course, because I am so completely hilarious, the class fell out laughing. This got me thinking about underwear. (Scary.....I know!)

Then.....I decided to add in a helpful hint for all my students to use for torture of their fathers. (Don't you wish your child was in my class?) I told them that if they wanted to drive their fathers crazy.....call their underwear, "panties".

After we all composed ourselves, we all vowed never to speak of undergarments again...and moved on to learning.

3. I also temporarily lost my composure when we were having a discussion about some vocabulary words. One of our words was "dolphin" and I was trying to get them to understand the difference between this animal and other fish.

Of course, we discussed how they were mammals, and how they had to breath air......which got me thinking (that always gets me in trouble). I then started giggling to myself, because I was thinking that they breathe through a blowhole. For some reason, this word is funny to me.

Once I explained this to the class, they were DESPERATE to use that word as much as was humanly possible.

*So now the words underwear AND blowhole are banned from my classroom! ( The really sad thing is....I am giggling right now.....just thinking of the word!)

4. While we're on the subject, nothing tops what a friend of mine once did while teaching social studies. She was sharing this amazing lesson on NASA and the kids were so incredibly into it, they hung on her every word. Then, while showing a model of the shuttle, she referred to it as the "Space Shittle". The kids stared at her with their mouths hung open in shock....as she desperately tried to right her wrong. By this time she was so flustered that she said AGAIN. She quickly ended the lesson and her slip up would go on to live in infamy!

Don't even get me started on another friend who, while giving a presentation in front of a room full of professionals in her graduate class, misspoke on the word...."flicker"!

5. Junior Mayhem is a precocious young boy and apt to find himself in trouble on a regular basis. So....he could not have been happier when I accidentally lost one of my balloons while walking them through the parking lot. He spent the next 15 minutes lecturing me on how I should have held them and what I needed to do the next time to ensure no balloons sailed off into the sunset. At the end of my extensive talking to, he felt compelled to add...."Now......if you don't listen to me, I will lose my patience with you!"

Seriously....do you think the boy has heard that a time or twenty?

So...there you have....nonsense as usual! Hope your week is going well!