That Old, Familiar Feeling

As moms we share many of the same experiences. From colic to tantrums, first days of school to first heartbreak.......the similarity is there. So I am sure it will not be foreign when I express my ideas about what I am feeling right now.

You know that feeling when you first learn to tread water? It's both exciting and terrifying at the same time? You are, somehow, keeping your head above water...but at any second.....with any false move.......you are going to slip under? Yep....that's where I am.

My daughter is finishing up her last year of middle school and, if I'm completely honest, I HATE this stage! (Yes...I am aware the whole teenage experience is only in the very beginning stages for me....but it did not take me long to figure out I don't like it!) Junior Mayhem has always been a willful child. I know it will benefit him one day.....but right now it is making him a gigantic pain in my ass! He is so sneaky and manipulative at 7.....I am terrified to see how he will be as a teenager. His shenanigans are reaching an all time high and couple that with a healthy dose of social issues and you have a recipe for disaster! With him entering third grade my anxiety level on social adjustments are at an all time high. I find myself saying, "If you do that at school....people will make fun/not want to be your friend/run away in HORROR!" You get the idea.

As for me, I'm coming off a harrowing year at work. Ever have the days when you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder what you are doing with your life? Yep....there were a lot of those. Couple that with the vertigo, migraines, and chronic fatigue and you can see why my life sent me longing for Calgon to take me away. Then there was the lovely two months were, after a harrowing visit with my ENT to discuss test results, I thought I had either MS or ALS. Nothing says fun like thinking you may die a slow, debilitating life while waiting two months to see a neurologist! After a failed visit to one quack of a neurologist and an MRI....I am headed to a new doctor in a few weeks. Maybe he can FIX me......maybe not.

Then....because there's not enough fun going on around here....Mr. Mayhem is unhappy at his work. Mind you, this is the same work that constitutes 80% of our income. It would seem the recession is affecting his business much like it is everything else in this country. So...his company's answer to said problem......raise the sales expectations and rates, and lower certain incentive plans (read: commission and bonuses). So...he mopes around this house about as much as I do these days.

I know things could be worse. I know I'm blessed. But....I can't help but to reluctantly embrace that old, familiar feeling of treading water......and if ONE more thing gets thrown on.....I might just go under!!!!!!!!!!!!!!